Happy Mother’s Day

This is my 9th Mother’s Day. It’s hard to believe I’ve been at this ‘job’ for 9 years already. I have often felt this was the most challenging thing I have ever done. The most challenging thing about my career was the time spent testifying in court (which is very nerve-wracking), and yet, that has been a cake walk when compared to the responsibility of having to raise children in the world we live in today. There are days when I feel I’ve failed in a big way with them.

The girls made me breakfast for me this morning all by themselves: Cold, slightly soggy cereal, toaster strudel, two double chocolate cookies, a banana and a tall glass of milk and brought to me in bed on a cookie tray.  The girls did this ALL by themselves because Mr. RSG went to church at 6 a.m. since he’s on the audio-visual team. Two of the girls are sick so we stayed home. Breakfast in bed was a lovely surprise.

I got this poem from my middle daughter. It made me laugh and weep at the same time.

I love my mom.
You are sweeter than honey,
I know you like money.
I’ll give you a hug;
You’re WAY prettier than slugs
I’ll blow you a kiss
That you’ll never miss.
I see the love,
It’s better than a dove.
I love my mom!

I think the line that stands out for me the most is this one: I see the love…

She and I have similar temperaments. We are both stubborn, fiery, and intense. We both feel and express a lot emotionally. She craves skin to skin contact. I was her lovey for many, many years. To a lesser degree, I still am.

She, like me, wears all her emotions on her sleeve. Great love, great disappointment, great anguish, great sadness, great anger, great joy, sometimes cycling through all of them in a short period of time. Just like me.

It’s been a blessing at times, and a difficult thing at other times, to look in the face of one of your children and see some of your positive and some of your negative traits staring back at you.

Of all my daughters, she taught me the most lessons in love, in patience, in compassion.

The hard way.

I had to dig deeper, search longer, and get in touch with myself, my fears, my anxieties, my troubled past to find out why I had trouble accepting her where she was at.

I had trouble accepting myself where I was at.

I wish I could say I was a better mother to them, and in particular to her, than I had been at times. But I’ve learned a little secret along the way:

Love heals EVERYTHING…if you let it.

Happy Mother’s Day to all mothers and mother-figures!

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