Wow, nine days without a post. Crazy, but true.
My grandmother died (I’ll talk about that after the funeral on Tuesday, I think).
I wrote in my journal.
And corresponded with friends.
And ruminated some more.
I have to tell you, those 9 days has made quite a powerful difference in my life. It seems that the God of the universe heard my plea for help, as it often seems to do when I verbalize that which I feel is most needed.
Timing is everything. If I don’t have something I think I need…it’s either because I do not really need it like I thought I did, or it’s simply not the right time to have it. And in the waiting…if I stay with myself and accept what is and be open to support if it comes my way, then everything will start to make sense, including the period of waiting.
Recently I wrote a little story to an internet friend of mine:
When I was younger.. all I ever did was look for a little adventure. Most times I just struck out on my own…bold…fearless…pretty certain that I’d be just fine, even though I was a girl…that there wasn’t anything to be afraid of. That maybe something in the universe was looking out for me. I trusted in that unseen presence. I trusted myself a whole lot more back then too.
Then Life started changing me and not always for the better. I think…well, no, I know…it actually took me away from my Self.
When I couldn’t find it anymore. I got scared.
I forgot to trust my inner wisdom.
I began to doubt myself.
I lost faith. Not in God. Not in the Universe.
But in Me.
I thought my value should be measured in how much I produced – either at work, or in the amount of housework I did at home, or even how many posts I could write (and as you know, I sometimes can’t find the off switch when I get started).
In the end…it doesn’t really matter. I’m still a pretty neat person despite what I do or fail to achieve. I think I’ve touched a few lives through my blog and in my real life. I’m quite glad to have met some of my readers, if only electronically.
And today I just read
A valid guide always leads us back to ourselves and the riches within us.
~ David Richo
I asked. I waited. I received.
I received much more than I actually thought I would.
To the God of the Universe, I thank you.