3…2…1…Meltdown!

Three days into the new school year, we have officially encountered our first massive meltdown of epic proportions the likes of which we haven’t seen in, oh, about a year from highly sensitive middle daughter, who is nearly seven and in first grade.

Faced with a choice of equally appealing consequences – stay home and play with sisters or go with Dad to the store – daughter can’t choose.

Wow. Ear-splitting shrieks and torrential downpour of tears. Ah, memories of not so pleasant times. I’m more centered now than ever, though, thankfully.

Lots of attempts to give hugs…works for about 2 minutes…until the choice is presented again.

Mr. RSG just went without her.

The energy she is expending now will make it unpleasant for both of them.

Adjustments to new routines are H-A-R-D for my child. New school years – new students, new teacher, new rules, are HUGE adjustments for my formerly selectively mute daughter.

I know it will get easier. But it takes time for that.

Later today, we will all go to the marina and have a pleasant lunch outside and look at the water and the boats for the first time. Should be good and this morning’s outburst will be a dim memory.

I hope.

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This entry was posted in Attachment Parenting, explosive child, gifted children, highly sensitive child, Intensity, meltdowns, overexcitabilities, selective mutism. Bookmark the permalink.

4 Responses to 3…2…1…Meltdown!

  1. Expressmom says:

    Sending you some <> !
    Good luck, I’ll be thinking of you!

  2. raisingsmartgirls says:

    Thanks. 🙂

    We had a better day when we went out…then she had another one just before dinner because she got into trouble from dad for hitting her sister for being too slow. She came in the house and lost it then. Since she is ‘acting out’ a bit and she’s emotionally adjusting to the new year and long days, I understand this behavior. I don’t like it much, but I understand it, and I know it will get better as she gets used to the new routine.

    So…when she came inside, she got some ice cold water because she was hot and sweaty from being outside and melting down, then she got some hugs, then she was better the rest of the evening.

    This morning she’s doing all right.

    I’m learning a little more about mindfulness, and it’s helping me stay calm so I can help her.

  3. Rick says:

    Going outdoors seems to help. A lot. I’m sure there are fancy theories for why. Personally, I think we’re just not biologically built for the kind of lives we live today. It’s isolating and weird. There are probably 1,000 people within a tenth of a mile of me, and I know none of them. That’s just wrong.

    But, my 9 yo is about to return from the first day of school, so, off I go!

  4. raisingsmartgirls says:

    Yes, it is just wrong, Rick.

    I don’t like it, but I understand it. It’s sort of that way here.

    I’m reading Malcolm Gladwell’s Outliers. The preface talks about the town of Roseto Pennsylvania, a community of transplanted Italians from Roseto Valfortore, near Rome, and the total absence of heart disease in that community. People were dying of old age, that’s all. In the 1950s a physician named Stewart Wolf wanted to know why there was no heart disease. He studied digestion, but after a lecture he gave at the local medical society, and one of the doctor’s mentioned that rarely did he find anyone from Roseto PA to have heart disease.

    Well, this was very shocking to Wolf, so he decided to investigate in 1961 Virtually no one under 55 died of heart disease, and those over 65, the death rate from heart disease was roughly half that of the US as a whole.

    How did this anomaly happen? It wasn’t because of diet, exercise OR genetics. Even though they transplanted from Italy, they used lard, not olive oil as they were used to. They didn’t particularly exercise. Nearby communities did NOT have the same statistics. So what was special about Roseto?

    Wolf brought in a sociologist to help him pinpoint the reasons. “There was no suicide, no alcoholism, no drug addiction, and very little crime”.

    So what was different?

    They brought with them cultural values – they had a very powerful, protective social structure capable of insulating them from pressures of the modern world – 3 generations of family members living in the same home, people out on their porches talking to each other, people being friendly and knowing each other.

    It’s a very protective kind of social structure.

    Not like today.

    I know EXACTLY why I’d been depressed for so long, and it’s NOT because of some chemical imbalance. I was just isolated and lonely.

    I’m starting to make REAL friends…and I feel lots better and more hopeful.

    And I’m going to challenge you to go up and meet one of those 1,000 people within a tenth of a mile of you!

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