I forgot how long those meltdowns can last

It’s been a long time since we had a big one.

I knew we might be in trouble when I picked up daughters 1 and 2 from science camp today and daughter number 2 was pouting and huffy. I always bring a snack to ward off hypoglycemia-induced behavioral problems, but today, she rejected her snack.

I know it was going to be downhill from there. When we got home, she begins with full-on meltdown mode, and rejected any of my attempts to comfort and feed her. It’s been an hour and she’s finally winding down, but she’s still not there yet. I made her a peanut butter sandwich and she refused to eat it.

I probably jinxed myself yesterday when I emailed a friend and said,

I know I have not yet been challenged. I know that I’m still in need of fortifying what I’m learning. I can’t expect that a few therapy sessions are going to make me resistant against the temper tantrums I’M prone to. Yet…I’m hopeful I can choose to respond differently. It was harder before. Impossible, it seemed. I don’t think it’s so impossible anymore.

Well, I have to say, I did better than I thought I would. I tolerated it without getting upset along with her. I actually decided to make brownies while she spent time in her room crying. She came out and I gave her a hug, and then a taste of the batter, but a few moments later, when she still was upset, I asked her to take it to her bedroom. She can get really loud and shrill and I don’t think it’s really fair to the my other two daughters who were in the same room with her to have to listen to her carry on. I was fairly calm about it though. I was definitely not feeling like I usually do – like crawling out of my skin.

She finally calmed down, about 5 minutes ago (so the meltdown lasted about a good hour), and I encouraged her to eat at least one quarter of her sandwich, which she did, and then ate the rest of it on her own. So, yeah…guess she was more hungry than she was going to admit.

As for me, I’m pretty proud of myself, for handling her with a little bit more patience than I have had in recent weeks. I am a little more hopeful that I can be more resilient to their upsets, especially since this morning my youngest daughter had a full-on cry fest too.

Yes, it’s been difficult to mother these highly sensitive daughters of mine, but I’m learning quite a bit about how to manage their emotions as well as my own with the help of lots of books and a little bit of therapy.

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This entry was posted in Attachment Parenting, emotion coaching, explosive child, highly sensitive child, highly sensitive mom, loss of parental love, motherhood, personal issues. Bookmark the permalink.

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