What ARE your goals in life? How about the next 2 years? Can you reach them?
The main one I have now is trying not to leave permanent emotional damage on my girls by being unable to do the mom thing with grace. So far I’m failing miserably.
I said a horrible thing to them yesterday. In a fit of exasperation and helplessness and overwhelm, I said maybe they would be happier with a new mom for them/new wife for daddy that loved to cook and clean and that maybe they would listen to HER and all be happier without me.
I don’t know why this has to be so hard. I spent 12 years at clinical laboratory jobs and always worked hard and (for the most part) earned the respect of my superiors and colleagues. I could carry out complex test procedures, troubleshoot instrumentation, handle myself with poise in the courtroom, manage the quality control program, create new procedures, supervise 3 subordinates and manage the daily operations of a small genetics lab who tested for rare diseases, and get things done.
And NOTHING is like that now. What the hell happened to me?
Oh, yeah, I quit my job, had another baby (making it 3 in 3.5 years) and lost all my self discipline over the past 6 years and managed to blow out my thyroid.
Something’s got to change…