Dealing with sensitivities publically – navel gazing or not?

I want my wonderful readers to know that I do what I do in the hopes that our story helps someone else. I don’t always know what happens when people visit my blog, though I do get warm and wonderful participation on my blog through the comments. I also learn from my readers some amazing new insights.

Occasionally I get a really nice surprise, when someone is impacted so positively after spending time here that they devote a little bit of time to letting others know what they’ve gotten out of coming here.

I appreciate it so much when I have discovered our story is inspiring to others as I did when I visited my new friends over at So Over Everything in their blog post Inspired.

Just when someone else made the comment (on a message board for the gifted) that sometimes focusing on one’s sensitivity is so overblown as to be considered mere “navel-gazing” and too self-centered; the next day I read something quite wonderful like this:

Casey is one smart girl herself and writes several blogs. (I am just beginning to scratch the surface there, but I am amazed by her and her family’s story.) I am inspired by her writing and the compassion that she shows to others. She exhibits a selfless willingness to help others. Her spirit and empathy come through in her posts and comments. I feel renewed by the sense of camaraderie that this blog is providing in our lives and can only hope that we are inspiring and helping others in return.

The other day I questioned, for a moment, if I was among those who “navel-gaze” too much on that message board. I am what’s considered a highly sensitive gifted adult. And I learn to deal with my sensitivities when they interfere with my life by writing about them, and I encourage others to be free to express their difficulties. Sometimes by blogging about things transparently or offering my perspective on that gifted message board.

Today, I realize, that attempting to understand one’s own sensitivity, to learn techniques to work with one’s intensity or bring it down to a more manageable level and sharing one’s trials and tribulations (and successes!) publically is NOT too self-serving.

While we can’t actively “teach” another “how-to” cope with our sensitivities, sharing our stories CAN offer a fresh perspective on our difficulties. Each of us has a story, each of us has areas we excel at and each of us has areas we struggle with. Maybe our story was not as difficult as yours, maybe our story was more difficult. And sometimes it will help. Sometimes (rarely, but it did happen) I was criticized for sharing one of my stories.

One of my friends, PapaT wrote this astute comment:

There is NOTHING “out there” about what it’s like raising YOUR kids…nothing “out there” about what it’s like being in YOUR trenches…NOTHING.

“In REAL life,” we need affirmation, reflection, support, encouragement, HELP!

I honestly wish in real life, we’d get that. Many times, sadly, we don’t. We get glib responses to our most troubling problems, or criticism for how we choose to do things, or even told “what are you complaining for, someone always has it worse than you do”. Yes, someone always does. But I’m not living their life. I’m living mine.

Fortunately, I find much of what I need through many of YOU who come here, who read, who share your stories on my blog or who share your stories on your own blogs. It helps sustain me and makes it all worthwhile. So, thank YOU all for the continue inspiration to me.

******

In future posts, I want to cover some of what I’m learning about Dabrowski’s Theory of Positive Disintegration…as I think it is helping me understand some of my continued problem areas and more importantly, hold a very promising way for me to sort things out, particularly as William Tiller, a former student of Dabrowski indicates

Using self-understanding and autoeducation, one can learn to self-manage one’s strong feelings and, eventually, to actively direct one’s development toward one’s personality ideal.

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This entry was posted in gifted adults, gifted support, highly sensitive mom, overexcitabilities. Bookmark the permalink.

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