I was pleasantly surprised to find one of my blog posts quoted and linked to on the Talent Development Resources website in an article titled, What do you do with your intensity?. I always am a little amazed when something I have to say makes even a tiny ripple of an impact elsewhere in the world.
But I wanted to share the link to this wonderful resource. I found a great new gifted blog to add to my blogroll through the TDR article called Growing Up Gifted, and I am very interested in reading Christine Fonseca’s upcoming book Emotionally Intense: Learning to Cope with Your Gifted Child’s Outbursts. Predominantly, because my middle daughter (age 6) is still prone to having outbursts and while she’s overall improved from a year ago, we still have days where she just. loses. it. Oh, hell, who am I kidding, it’s also predominantly because I still have outbursts….
Today, when she realized the juice box she got from school was orange and not fruit punch resulted in a 10 minute crying and wailing session. I was not at all able to handle this third outburst of the day. I hid in my bedroom with my hands over my ears because I was overtired (having stayed up til 12:30 reading Stranger in a Strange Land), and felt anger bubbling up from within. Imagine nails on a blackboard, endlessly grating at your psyche. Feeling venomous anger towards my child for having extreme feelings when I was not functioning anywhere near optimally…struggling unsuccessfully to put a lid on my feelings so I wouldn’t yell about it.
Let me be clear, though. I’m not mad at the expression of frustration and disappointment itself. I get upset about the decibel level of her expressions – the longer she cries the louder she gets. It’s maddening. And no amount of reasoning gets through to her. And I can’t be near her when she wails so loud.
God, I hate days like this…so, after this post, and after getting them lunch, I’m going to take a nap. Usually on days where there’s more than one outburst, there is usually 4 or 5. Who knows what will trigger them next. I need to be in the best position to meet them with a lot more patience than I’m capable of at the moment.