I may not be sure if there is a God or not…but there is some benevolent protective force out there in the universe for me.
Just when I think I’m not sure if I can handle one…more…thing…
I get an email from a dear friend yesterday to help prepare me for something that happened today.
And then after it happened, and I felt the floor drop out beneath me, and I struggled with my thoughts and feelings, a few minutes later I get a phone call from another dear friend from my crime lab days to remind me that I am good enough as I am and all I need to do is remember that.
I also started reading on meditation yesterday, something that also has helped me reflect on today.
I learned a lot in just a few short hours:
Suffering is not a noble state – it’s insanity. You might learn through suffering, but the goal of life is to learn through love, laughter, and light which is wisdom. It is the difference between healthy psychology and unhealthy psychology; it is the difference between healthy theology and unhealthy theology.
I am not this thought. I am not that thought. I am not thought.
You are the creator of your mind’s processes. You are not the creation of your brain any more than a sunset is the creation of your eyes.
Your ideas are your creation and as such are within your control to change, shape and improve – or transcend.
One of the negative quirks of human nature is that ideas become laden with emotional overtones, especially those notions your ego latches onto as important to its self-definition. Your emotions grow long, grasping tentacles that reach out for ideas that fit your emotional predisposition, and these ideas then begin to control your mental life! When you become emotionally attached to ideas, you begin to sink into a turmoil of ignorance.
I know what I have to do. I am happy. I am at peace. I am FREE of something I’ve been burdening myself with for a very long time. Some things just have nothing to do with me and I know I am finally going to find what I need through meditation and yogic principles.
There must be a basic want to grow, regardless of whether or not we will achieve enlightenment in this lifetime. It is one of Yoga’s fundamental beliefs that no effort is ever wasted, even the slightest attempt at transforming ourselves makes a difference. It is our patient cumulative effort that grows into self-realization sooner or later.