Well…after knowing how much my highly sensitive daughter was traumatized last night by her sister’s friend, this was one of those things I couldn’t let slide under the carpet. But before I confronted his mother, I asked my daughter’s first grade teacher that we see every time I pick her up from science summer camp at school what she thought about the friend taking a pocket watch and waving in front of my oldest daughter’s face and saying “I’m going to hypnotize M to kill [her sisters] K and E at midnight tonight”.
M’s former teacher told me two things about it: 1) that some kids say things for the shock value of it, and 2) that if he said that at school and a teacher overheard it, he would be expelled (no tolerance policy for that kind of talk).
I’m grateful to know that M’s former teacher agrees that for a child like my highly sensitive, anxious daughter K, I’m not overreacting. No child should not have to go to bed terrified that her sister is going to come and kill her in the night.
So…with that in mind, I confronted the boy’s mom, and fortunately, the boy’s father happened to be home as well. Of course the boy denied it at first, but my oldest daughter did indeed confirm the story. She hesitated a little, but only because she knew he’d get into trouble for it and I know she doesn’t like to rat out her friends if she could avoid it.
And of course, the mom told me, “Well, I asked K if anything was wrong when she wanted to go home early and she said, ‘no'”. (I know my K, she always wants to be wherever her sisters get to go to. She would never want to go home unless something was really wrong).
That’s when I said, “um…she has SELECTIVE MUTISM…she’s not going be able to tell you if she’s terrified to do so.”
I also mentioned what the former teacher told me about how he’d be expelled for saying that in school. So, the mom agreed that a break was needed between the kids. She said, “what, like a week?”. In my mind I was thinking that was not enough, so I said that “I’d have to check with my husband first, but I would think at least that much followed by making sure the kids are always within earshot”. She replied, “well, then maybe it needs to be longer, because I’m not about to be supervising them that closely”. So much for expecting the parents to help me build back trust.
And of course another friendship is going to bite the dust. Since she lives on my street and our kids had been close friends, we had done quite a bit of kid-related activities together – brought our kids to the park, gone to school related events together, and she even brought me to her Girls’ Night Out at her church a few times. Towards the end of our conversation, it was becoming clear that she was getting angry with me.
If it weren’t for my blogs and my internet friends, I’d really start thinking I’m not meant to have any.