How to be disorganized and unproductive at home.

If my stay-at-home mothering/homemaking position were a real paying job, I’d have been fired years ago. The truth be told, I spend way too much time in my head lamenting about lack of mental stimulation, lack of friendship, lack of ego-boosting perks (you know, like a paycheck, vacation time, respect of co-workers and superiors). I also spend more time online – feeding my intellect doing research on subjects important to me, nurturing my online “babies” (my three blogs) and living vicariously through other women’s blogs (but a lot of times finding really cool things to do with the kids) – than I really should.

I can justify some of my procrastination by the fact that I do my chores – I just spread them all out on a 12 hour day instead of an 8 hour day. Some days I really am quite productive. Other days, notsomuch (after all, there’s always tomorrow or the weekend, right?).

But the problem is that I am really never “off the clock” (okay, reality check, what mother is?) and I don’t feel productive and I don’t feel good about it most times. I feel like I’m just hanging out waiting for something better (ie a “real job”) to come along. Consequently, I never really feel “at peace”.

I stumbled across this series of blog posts from Simple Mom that really hit home with me about why I have the nagging sense that I’m squandering my time at home.

The 6 Keys to a Disorganized, Unproductive Day at Home.

6. Neglect Yourself
5. Overcommit
4. Don’t Plan Your Time
3. Have Too Much Stuff
2. Aim for Perfection
1. Don’t Enjoy Your Job

I can say that I’m guilty of #6, #4,#3, and #1 (but to be very clear, I don’t dislike mothering – and I’m quite good at it actually, but the whole housekeeping aspect of being a stay at home mom is really not fun for me).

I think it’s time I put a plan into action to prioritize things. Not just because there’s housework to be done (there always will be), but because I’m not making time for the things I like doing that contribute something of value to my family, my friends and even me. There’s a huge creative side to me that often gets neglected because I’m not making it a priority. To me, that’s a real personal loss.

I don’t think that it’s just society that undervalues what the stay at home parent’s role is, but I have undervalued my own contributions to my family. I think it’s become a part of the collective unconscious – unless your paid for your time, it’s not worth doing. How wrong that is.

I erroneously kept thinking that deep satisfaction and self worth comes from paid employment, but really that’s not true. It’s what we are led to believe though. I do believe hat no matter what ones does for a living, one should do it with all one’s heart and mind, and I haven’t been. My job, right now, is to be at home caring for all of us. And I’ve been slacking in many aspects of my role. I think it’s time to prioritize what I do a little bit to get a little more out of my time at home.

More on that later.

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2 Responses to How to be disorganized and unproductive at home.

  1. Bev Coggins says:

    I happened upon your blog today and enjoyed reading your post on how to be disorganized. 🙂

    I totally agree! There were always a few nagging thoughts questioning my decision to stay home to do the most important job – mothering my children!

    The thing I kept coming back to was living by my priorities, passions and gifts – thereby doing the most important things in my life. This was so important to me that I wrote some books and workbooks on figuring these things out. I’d love to offer one to you – Three Steps to Time Management for the Stay-at-Home Mom, if you’re interested.

    For me, it relieved me of always second guessing myself and gave me freedom to choose or refuse opportunities based on my own priorities, rather than be tossed around by others’ agendas.

    My children are grown now, but we foster teenage girls, so my time is still not my own. But what can be better than investing in the next generation?

    Bev Coggins

  2. raisingsmartgirls says:

    Bev – thanks for commenting. I am interested in that book. I will have to check out your website in more detail later, as I’m really at my limit for computer time right now.

    I totally agree that I am investing in the next generation and I like what I am seeing right now as my girls are very caring, loving, and respectful. I can’t wait to see how their lives unfold.

    In the meantime, I do need to make sure I do what I can to make sure most of the necessary but important tasks are done as well.

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