In addition to being 38 this year, which is bad enough, I just got an invitation to my 20 year high school reunion.
The good news is that I have until November to try and lose some weight (I should anyway, not necessarily for the reunion, but because I’m tired of the post baby weight I keep carrying after my last baby was born…um 3 years ago)!
But the bad news is that I’m going to have to reconcile with the fact that I’m not DOING something fantastic in my career. That I’m JUST a stay at home mom. That it doesn’t matter that I had a pretty exciting career in forensics and medical genetics for a while because I just stay at home now. And you know what, I’m really okay with that – today anyway. Ask me again on a different week.
Although a part of me wonders why I even want to go to my HS reunion at all. I decided against going to my 10 year reunion, even when I had the chance to actually brag about what I did for a living. I don’t know. The curiosity is getting the better of me, I guess. Or maybe because I want to go and brag about my three beautiful girls. Jobs will come and go (and they have), but I will always have my girls as my greatest achievement.
I wish I could show you a picture of how lovely my girls are. I have a red-headed blue eyed 6 year old, a light brown haired, brown eyed (with beautifully long eyelashes) 4.5 year old, and a blond haired brown eyed 3 year old. But for privacy sake, I won’t post a picture. My oldest is the scientist in the making, or the architect, she loves trying to figure out how things work and building things. She even draws plans sometimes before she builds what she draws. My 4.5 year old is creative as well as smart (and moody, but that’s not her fault). She can sings songs about anything (even an empty toilet paper roll) or make connections between two seemingly unrelated things. My 3 year old is the comic of the group. She is very expressive with her face, and she always has a twinkle of mischief in her eyes.
It’s been a very busy 20 years since high school. College followed by a 12 year career in the biotech field, an 11 year marriage to a wonderful guy, and 3 beautiful girls. When I think about my life, I have had it all. I had a career, I have a home, I have money in the bank, and really want for nothing. I’m exploring lots of things I haven’t had time to before just because I want to. I have time to really get to know my children on a deep level. Something I personally couldn’t do in the evenings and weekends I had. In getting to know them, I also am getting to know myself. I’m not just watching the days and weeks just melt into one big blur.
Would I like a to be in the workforce again? The answer is yes. But I really don’t want my job to be all consuming like it once was, swallowing up 11 hours a day, and that was on days I didn’t have to stay late. It could be more like 13.
I’m really fortunate to be able to stay home with my girls. And now that they are older, I’m really not in the thick of the hardest part (the endless hours of feeding, diapering, and night waking) and I’m enjoying the discoveries that they make daily. I know I can’t take credit for how smart they are, but really it does tickle me that I do get a lot of input as to how they are spending their time, and that I’m able to contribute by creating an environment that supports their learning (you can check out what we’ve been up to lately on my other blog.
You know, when I really take a good look at things, I really discover how deeply satisfied I am about the way my life has gone. Here I am sitting at my desk, typing away about the path my life has taken, and two of my girls are playing quietly in the sandbox on the deck outside. It’s 9:25 in the morning and I have no obligations today other than to pick up my kindergartener from school in an hour. I’m thinking of surprising them with a lunch in the park. Shh, don’t spoil the secret though.
Life is really good right now. Of course, check back in a week, I may feel differently. And that will be okay too. I had horrible weeks at when I worked out of the home too.